You’re Not Special-And That’s a Good Thing When you believe you’re special, you feel entitled to feel good and have a problem-free life, which gets in the way of choosing constructive values. He contends that in fact, you are not special: Your experiences and problems are shared by millions of others. It has produced delusional people who can’t handle challenges or adversity. The priority became feeling good about yourself rather than trying, failing, learning, and accomplishing things. Manson argues that many people’s problems in coping with life stem from the self-esteem/exceptionalism philosophy that began spreading through schools, churches, and business development seminars in the 1960s and 1970s. That’s why he warns against unrestrained pleasure-seeking, or simply trying to “feel good.” The emotional intelligence model can give you some benchmarks for how well you’re following Manson’s advice. We’ll also explore some of the psychology behind what motivates people’s decisions, and why we’re driven to give so many f*cks about so many unimportant things.Ī lot of what Manson says in Subtle Art is about managing your emotions, rather than letting your emotions manage you. The book draws from several established philosophies (Stoicism, Existentialism, and Buddhism), and we’ll expand and clarify the book’s messages by tracing their origins to these schools of thought.
In other words, we need to carefully choose what we give our f*cks about. Because we can’t care equally about everything, we need to prioritize and focus on what brings us happiness and meaning.
The solutions are counterintuitive and include: be wrong, fail, tolerate feeling bad, accept pain, practice rejection. This leads us to pursue emotional highs that don’t lead to lasting happiness.
In The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Mark Manson argues that we are frustrated in life and feel like failures because we value and prioritize the wrong things, thanks in part to society’s emphasis on positive thinking, over-involved parents, and our susceptibility to superficial social media messages.
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